Looking In The Mirror

I know that it's something that some people may find strange (and I'm sure you'll comment if you do), but I've done it for years. I sometimes sit in front of a magnifying mirror and stare. Stare at myself. Not necessarily to examine my pores or wonder where that huge zit on my temple came from (and there really is one there!) I stare at my face and look for the "beautiful" in me.

People have always talked about my eyes. I've heard that I have pretty eyes. They're brown. I've always said they were eyes that looks at the world differently from everyone else. They see there that is injustice and hunger in the world and wants that to change. Prays for that to change. I love my caring (and bespectacled) eyes. I've heard that I have a cute nose. Not too wide or bulbous. Yes, a cute nose. But its a nose that takes the time to smell the flowers that are planted in the Green Street spaces throughout my neighborhood. MY Brooklyn. I've been told that I have lovely lips. Full and sensuous. My lips are pleasing to me, even with the little scar that is left on my upper lip -- the cupid's bow -- from having an ice ball thrown at me in the school yard. I was in the 3rd grade.

Just yesterday I was told that I have a lovely smile. My smile is somewhat crooked. I used to hide my smile (and still do sometimes), but I do take the time to do that though. To smile.
I stare at my skin. I've been told that my coloring is something of a caramel brown. I look at all the shades of caramel brown that I am now with having some parts being more exposed to the summer sun than others. I am thankful that I have this skin. I am thankful to be in this caramel colored skin.

It's a strange thing that I do, but I've been doing it for years. I sit in front of a magnifying mirror and stare at myself. Stare at the reflection with the bespectacled and caring eyes and smile at her with that somewhat crooked smile and kiss her with the lips that I find pleasing, even with the little scar. I look at her and realize that the "beautiful" in her is so much more than what's on the outside. It took me a long time to get to even this point. (I was called every name in the book as a child. The thoughts of those times bother me sometimes). I know I still have a very long way to go. But today...at this very moment, I love the reflection staring back at me. She is a woman that has a caring heart, a free spirit, and a hearty laugh. She is sometimes shy, she is sometimes mischievous, she is sometimes happy and sometimes sad. But the thing that I have come to realize is that this reflection with all her perceived imperfections are all beautiful. She is me. All of her.

This is the reflection that stares back when I take to Looking In The Mirror. She's beautiful to me!