Looking At The World

It’s been a about a week or two since my last post and I'm sure those of you in my tiny little fan club may believe that I have abandoned my love and curiosity for the written word -- I can assure you that I haven’t -- I have, however, begun to dive into a new sea of creativity and inspiration –- photography.

I feel like I’ve begun to see the world a little differently. There is beauty that can be found in everything. From the face of a little boy or girl to a tree that will never move. One of the many things that epitomize beauty to me is the Brooklyn Bridge. And although I’ve walked across this bridge many times in my life, today was a day of great realization.

Helen Keller once said that the best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen, not touched, but are felt in the heart and my heart feels great joy in taking pictures. I don't fancy myself a photographer really, but I am a picture taker who sees and feels wonderous things through my lens. And although there are various emotions in these photographs –- sadness, fear or lonliness -- there is joy (for me) in knowing that they are out in the ether for the world to see and even to enjoy. I walked across the bridge today and felt an instant kinship with all who put the world into focus and took a picture. I ‘ve begun to take in my native city in the same way a newborn takes in her mother’s face –- with love and a grand curiosity. My mother's Christmas gift to me is the opportunity to see the world in another way. Thanks Mom.

Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.

See A Penny...

“See a penny, pick it up; all day long you'll have good luck.” I actually found a dollar on my way home tonight and that thought immediately came into my head. But what does that little rhyme really mean?

This year, 2007, is one that I hear will bring me great luck. And why is that, I wonder. Is it only because it ends in a numerical connotation that has traditionally, the world over, symbolized great and purposeful things, such as luck? Or is it because the stars of my zodiac sign are aligned in just such a way that only good will follow me this year? People read their horoscopes with the belief that the stars and planets are the dictators of their fortune, be it good or bad. But the real question is, are we really the proprietors of our own destiny or is it something we should leave up to chance...or planets and stars...or even someone else?

And then there's the question of karma. The most basic definition of the term states that it is good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something. Does that mean that if someone speaks of karma in ill terms, that negativity is something that will truly follow us? In that regard it does in fact seem like one is leaving their destiny in the hands of another. But in my journey, I have discovered that love, especially self love, conquers everything even karma.

New Year's Day / Reflections Of A New Day

We will open the book.
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.

--Edith Lovejoy Pierce

In the wake of all the excitement and pandemonium that was New Year's Eve and after making cheerful and excited phone calls to family and friends at the stroke of midnight, I sat alone with the buzz of the t.v. (more specifically, Dick Clarke's Rockin' Eve) as my only company. I hadn't planned on ringing in the New Year alone, but the more I thought about the events of the past year, the more sense it made. I've begun to feel like I've lost track of myself. My last long term relationship was evidence of that. But it’s not just in my relationships that I feel this way. It's in my work and in my heart. I'm starting to ask myself: who is this woman? I needed to find myself again.

And so, in the light of day the mission became clear: to find the woman I used to be and to begin nourishing her heart, soul and spirit. The greatest discovery of this new day came after a brief meeting with Deo and while riding on the train from the city. The plan was to head home, but instead I stayed on the train and rather than become lost in the blur of my own thoughts, I pulled out my new little camera and put the world into focus. In that moment, the train ceased being a mode of rapid transit –- it literally became a vessel for my creativity. I looked though the viewfinder and searched; finding all that I had been neglecting in recent years –- purposeful joy! I found it in the smile of a woman that I photographed on the train and in the deserted amusement park that I frequented as a child.

Coney Island -- the park that, for a time, was the epicenter of American pop culture and the birthplace of Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs, now stood silent with only the traces of what were the greatest amusements of all time. A light rain began to fall shortly after my arrival in the park and I thought it appropriate that Mother Nature would wash away the old to make room for all the new that was to come at the dawn of a new year. I made my way to the boardwalk and stood still and silently for a little while. It was here, in this park, after the day long venture that was Easter Mass; I would congregate with my older brother and cousins. Fun and laughter came easily to us, along with cotton candy and games of chance. I can clearly remember being bathed in joy as a kid -- in this park. And the opportunity to recapture the memory of that was priceless for me. With every picture I took, I saw great potential. The great potential of what will be a new Coney Island -- (the park will reopen in April of this year) and the great potential in me. There is potential for me to be fulfilled and happy and every post in this blog is grand experiment in purpose that I have been happy to discover.

I reflected heavily today and although I'm not one who believes in New Year's resolutions, as every day no matter what time of year is a perfect time to start over, I do believe in taking the time to reflect on what was and learning how to find joy in what could be. Happy New Year!

*Note:* The pictures above are ones I took while walking around Coney Island. You can see additional pictures here.