Put Your Makeup On, Fix Your Hair Up Pretty...And Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City

*DISCLAIMER* I don't usually feel the need to clarify for my audience but, I gotta tell y’all, this blog is rather lengthy. So, if you’re not up for it...the remote is on the nightstand and the ice cream is in the fridge. I won't be offended if you decide to catch the end of that movie (or game), but if you are up for it, Thanks for Reading!! :-)

The post title refers to a song written by Bruce Springsteen back in 1982, aptly titled "Atlantic City". It's about a young couple's escape to New Jersey for a night. This is the story of two couples that decided to make New Jersey the escape from their respective cities for a weekend.

My best friend and I had actually been talking about going away together for years –-whether it be by plane to head west for some sun, "California Dreamin'" and to visit with my family or maybe heading down south by car to visit her family and experience some Southern Hospitality. But in the to and froes of life, we had only gotten as far as our respective cities to visit each other. She would come back to her old stomping grounds to visit me in New York or I would go to her neck of the woods to the City of Brotherly Love in Philadelphia, but we could never quite make it anywhere else…until now.

She informed me a few weeks ago of her plans to take her boyfriend to Atlantic City for his birthday and asked if I wanted to come along. "Atlantic City, huh? Ok. Uh…cool. Let me get back to you on that." I honestly was a bit skeptical about the trip. Not only did I not want to be the proverbial third wheel, but there was also the fact that the last time I ventured down to New Jersey, I was with a bunch of women friends. And although I had a great time just bonding with them all (namely Jackie, Mali, Quenta, Sasha and a few others), the idea of losing my shirt at the casinos did not appeal to me then and I don't know if it would appeal to me now. But I began to reconsider once she told me that we would be staying in a time-share. For those of you who aren't familiar, a time-share is the name given to a piece of real estate where a number of people share ownership in the subject property. My girl has a time-share?! Hold up! We share everything!! Why didn't she tell me that she is a burgeoning real estate mogul? Now y'all know I wanna get in on that action! But as it turns out, she isn't a real estate mogul at all. She is just a woman who was able to get a taste the high life, namely by signing up for a free weekend at a time-share. Either way, mogul or not, my curiosity was peaked. After having broken down all the details to me, I decided to give it a shot. I mean one never knows...there could very well be a story here that I could later relay to my grandchildren: "It was a long time ago kids, but your Nana hit the big jackpot on a trip to Atlantic City. And would you believe that I actually had trepidations about going? Well I sure am glad that I went…bring the car around Jeeves, tonight's Bingo night at the Senior Center!" Well now that I was excited about the trip, I had to find someone who would be just as excited (as well as able to split any costs with me *wink, wink*) to join me. Enter Deo, the six foot tall New Age flower child mentioned in previous posts, who has not only become a good friend, but in light of recent life events –- a port in the storm. "Hell yea!" He says. Cool. I guess this means we're all set and all we have to do is get there.

So we synchronized our watches and tied the threads of our excitement together and agreed to meet in Atlantic City, New Jersey around three o'clock on Saturday afternoon. Deo and I were the first to arrive after what seemed like a relatively short bus trip. This trip was shorter than most for me as I'm used to having a bus trip to Pennsylvania take about four hours. I guess that says something about Greyhound. We paid our fare, left the driving to them and we got there in one piece! Yay! The bus dropped us off in front of the Sands Atlantic City Hotel/Casino and considering that we weren't going to check in to our hotel until four o'clock, we had our bags with us along with time to kill and decided to see what trouble we could get into at the Sands casino.

We walked into the casino and I immediately experienced sensory overload –- my eyes were transfixed by the brightly colored lights of the slots and the décor of the casino, my ears were ringing along with the machines and the chatter of the people and my mouth was dry at the thought of what I may have gotten myself into. I may have been a bit tentative, but Deo's eyes lit up. They grew as big as saucers. He saw dollar signs and was clearly excited. He was like a kid in a candy store. He and I would soon find out, however, what having too much candy can do to a person!

We walked over to the roulette table and put our bags on the chairs next to us. The yellow plaque on the table indicates that there is a five-dollar minimum to place a bet. The dealer, a Hispanic man, nodded and smiled in our direction. With a twinkle in his eyes, he asks us if we wanted to play. Deo dives into his pockets and pulls out a twenty-dollar bill. The dealer gives him four five-dollar chips. He scans the table and looks for a number to call out to him. He puts 2 to 1 on black on the 2nd half of the board to win, which means that he would double his money by putting a chip on any black number on the second half of the board. I tell him that there are thirty-six numbers he can bet on and that he should be careful. We are the only two players at the table. All bets are set. The dealer swishes the little white ball onto the roulette wheel and then waves his hand over the table. This move fascinated Deo and I. With it this man had the power to captivate all who sat at his table. The world hushed with the swipe of a hand. We watched intently as the little ball rolled around and around on the roulette wheel finally cradling itself on 18…black. Deo and I looked at each and smiled. He doubled his money and won ten dollars. His posture immediately changed. He was no longer the man who had come to take in the sights and have fun. He had become a man on a mission. With one win, he became an expert –- even telling me, the novice gambler, what my best odds were. I took his advice and two of his chips and placed my bet. I placed it on the red diamond, which meant that any red number was a winner. It seemed like a safe enough bet. The ball was thrown, the hand was swiped and my anticipation was growing. Roll…roll…roll. Stop. RED!!! I won!!! I doubled my money! I clapped happily like a child who had just been given a prize. I felt good and wanted to try it again. I wasn't quite ready to commit to an actual number just yet; so black was the color of choice this time. Swish. Wave. Roll. Roll. Roll…clink, clink. BLACK!!! Damn!!! I was officially on a roll! The dealer gave me another five-dollar chip. I could picture myself going to the redemption counter with all my chips and having the bitchy woman behind the counter with the pink argyle sweater look at me over her glasses (I guess she's never given out this much money before and she just hates the idea that it’s going to a novice! Nah nah nah nah nah!!) before pushing piles of money toward me! I felt lucky. With that, I decided to step it up and commit to a number. 33. The sounds and movements had become familiar at this point: Swish. Wave. Roll. Roll. Roll…clink, clink. I held my breath…what would it be? 28. Number 28. *Gasp!* I lost?! I couldn't believe it. I followed Deo's advice to the letter and I still lost. Before I could blink, I saw my little chip being pulled away from the table like a child being ripped from her mother's arms. I was smacked back into reality and decided that the chips I had left would go into my pocket…as cash. Deo then decided to head over to the Blackjack table, where he proceeded to lose two hands. He appeared unfazed. The next hour or so just flew by and before I knew it, Teesha called, told us that she was about five minutes away and that we should meet her in front of the hotel.



One of the views from my window.

As it turns out, our hotel –- the Fairfield Skyline Towers -- was right down the street from the Sands. I was sitting in the lobby when I saw Teesha and Tyrone walk through the double doors to greet us. Teesha and I greeted each other with a hug while Deo and Tyrone bonded with the offering of a cigarette. While they bonded over nicotine, Teesha checked us all in. We then got onto the elevator and headed up to our room. Room 1901. I opened the door to the room and felt like I was on one of those episodes of MTV’s “The Real World”. You know the episodes where after discovering each other, the potential roommates run around discovering their living quarters. On the show there are opportunities for friendships, possible romance or maybe just the opportunity for the roommates to embarrass themselves for the sake of cable ratings. We all looked around in amazement. This is where we were staying for the weekend? Niiiccee!! It was a full-fledged apartment! Two bedrooms, two baths, full kitchen, living room…and cable! We rushed in without really thinking of which bedroom we would take but guess who got the master bedroom with a separate master bathroom and a Jacuzzi? LOL!

After settling in, we all go out to see what New Jersey has to offer. It was suggested that we try the AC Bar and Grill. We were told “they have the best food in the whole city!” That was too far fetched a thought, considering the “city” of Atlantic City isn’t really a city at all, but a resort community located on an island -- Absecon Island. So rather than take our chances with what could be our digestive downfall, we stuck to the basics and ordered fries from a pizzeria across the street from the Grill. Deo went against the grain and ordered a pasta dish. After getting our order we headed back to the room, where we proceeded to watch one of the many movies that Teesha brought along with her (she actually set us up pretty well for the weekend by providing food that we could prepare in the kitchen instead of going out and spending money on restaurants. Good thinking girl!) Teesha, Tyrone and I had fries to go with the sandwiches we made while Deo happily devoured his pasta. After filling our stomachs, the consensus was to take a nap. We had what was commonly known in Black people circles as “The itis.”


A few hours later, we all awoke refreshed and ready to see what was next. We decided to take a leisurely walk on the boardwalk. We walked along the gambler’s strip: The Taj Mahal…Bally’s…Caesars…Resorts. We then stopped in at the amusement park and reverted to our childhood days. After an hour of so of shooting balloons with water guns and throwing baseballs at old fashioned milk cans, we decided to head to The Showboat to look around a bit. I have to say that my enthusiasm for gambling fell away with the money initially lost at the roulette table earlier in the day. Deo, however, proved himself to be the expert after all –- winning $83.00 while sitting at the quarter slots! What the hell?! I felt cheated. I looked around and saw that everyone was winning except me. Ridiculous!! I was pissed and hungry. I dragged Deo away from the slots to find Tyrone and Teesha so that we could get some dinner. We didn't have to go far as the House of Blues was literally two steps away from the casino. With that, we ate, drank and were merry. After dinner, we went back to the hotel, caught the rest of the movie that we were initially too tired to finish watching and finally went to sleep in anticipation of day two in "The Las Vegas of the East".

The next day we woke up at the crack of dawn to attend a Time-Share Seminar. I guess having a counselor sit with us while trying to convince us to spend our life savings on a quasi-apartment that we would only use for two weeks out of the year, was the price that we had to pay to stay another day. The seminar seemed to go forever. By the time we got out we were all drained and tired. Teesha and Tyrone headed back to the room while Deo and I went for a walk to allow them some private time. I felt like a monster had been created. In the last 24 hours, Deo and I had been to the casino at least three times and it seemed like he couldn’t get enough. He gave me fifty dollars (he hit a personal jackpot during every visit and he shared some of it with me) and told me to find a machine and have fun. “Don’t sit there expecting to win. Just have fun!” he said. And so, I was left to my own devices while Deo was off stuffing bills into slots. The Gambling Gods seemed to be punishing me though, because in the three visits to the casino, I’d only come out on top by $11.50. How pitiful is that?! At that point, I was thinking why gamble when I could shop. Everyone wins in that situation!

After an hour or so, we went back to the hotel to find that Teesha and Tyrone were well rested and ready to go. Deo decided in that moment to stay in. He said that he was not feeling well, but it’s my belief that his winning streak finally hit the skids and it was getting to him. So Teesha, Tyrone and I headed out. None of us wanted to go to yet another casino so we walked away from the boardwalk and headed in the opposite direction. We saw a shining purple beacon on the night’s horizon -- otherwise known as The Borgata.

I took this picture with my cell phone. Pretty dark and prophetic don't you think?

In all our time in Atlantic City, this seemed the only casino/hotel that we hadn’t seen, so we started to walk. After walking for about ten minutes, it began to drizzle. With only one small umbrella between the three of us, we -- or should I say I -- proceeded to get soaked as the rain picked up half way to the casino. We decided to head back. It seemed like we were lost when all we saw in front of us was a rash of houses and a never ending highway. But a turn was made on one of the many city streets that looked the same at night, and we found ourselves back on the boardwalk!


I had my very first Funnel cake...with ice-cream!

By this time the rain lightened to a drizzle again and we had the boardwalk virtually to ourselves with the exception of one or two of those rolling chair guys. There were Funnel cakes and ice-cream during our rainy walk along the boardwalk. Music blasted from one of the store fronts and I just felt the urge to dance. And so, I happily danced along the boardwalk while Teesha and Tyrone strolled slowly behind me. We walked back to the hotel.



That's Teesha in the kitchen of the time-share apartment.

Upon our return to the hotel, we decided that we’d seen all that Atlantic City had to offer us and we stayed in on our last night. Teesha made dinner for us. We sat at the kitchen table and went back and forth in the discussion of relationships over a seafood dinner of crab legs with garlic butter and stuffed shrimp. Before I knew it, I was lying in bed and turning off the light on my weekend in Atlantic City, New Jersey. We checked out early the next day. We laughed and recalled our experiences over pancakes at a diner before Teesha drove Deo and I to the bus station for the trip back to New York.



Taken on the balcony on our last day.

I used to think of this place as the city of the perpetual blue haired social security squanderer or “Hedonism” for the elderly. But I have discovered the solace behind the slot machines and charm behind the buckets of change. It was here where a life long friendship was deepened and new relationships were forged. In spite of my initial skepticism regarding this trip, I would have to say that this weekend was a gamble worth taking!

Time

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” – Auguste Rodin

I received an email this morning from one of the attorneys in my office. The caption was in bold type: URGENT!! Her writing in the email seemed somewhat frantic. “I need this done today!!” I called her and reassured her that it would in fact, get done today. But then I asked her what time it was that she needed the project completed and she states somewhat nonchalantly that she was working from home and that although it is an urgent matter, that I could send it to her via U.S. Postal Service. “You don’t what me to overnight it?” “No, that won’t be necessary.” I was left somewhat confused by that. She sends me a frantic email about the urgency of a project yet wants it to get to her in the slowest manner possible. *Scratching head*

It seems that we, this city in particular, are obsessed with time. New Yorkers seem to be on a perpetual deadline. The phrase that is standard issue around here is that “this needs to get done yesterday!!” What is it about keeping time? It’s like any mode of time keeping is as much a part of our daily lives as our morning coffee. Watches are as much a part of our dress as our socks or our shoes. Have we been programmed into thinking that walking out of the house without a watch is a city dweller’s sin? It’s like walking out without our purse or our keys –- we sometimes feel naked without it!

New York is known as “The City That Never Sleeps”. With that said, I’m left with the question, why is it that the people of this sleepless metropolis always look so fatigued and tired? The answer is simple. Because there isn’t any appreciation and credence given to the opportunity to be still.
There is a great benefit in waiting –- in being still. Even as kids, we wanted to rush through what we knew being a child to be. I know I’m not the only one who can recall being a little kid saying that I couldn’t wait to grow up. As if the accumulation of years made one more special or loved than they were at that very moment in their lives. But one may find that their greatest joys may have been in all the yesterdays that were charged through or piddled away to look in the face of a distressing or sorrowful today.

So I say, look around you. Take in the world. Take it in your hands and look at it. Examine all that it is. Appreciate every smile and every kind word that comes your way as that smile or kind word is a moment in time that may never be repeated!

I took the time to be still today. In the rush to get this “urgent” matter taken care of, I decided that I wanted to take a moment for myself. To that end, I got off the train that I was taking to court, sat on a bench at 14th Street-Union Square and finished the coffee and doughnut that I bought as a substitute for the real breakfast that I don’t often deprive myself of. And it was in that moment that time and space melted away and all that was left was me. Me, an old-fashioned doughnut and a hot cup of coffee.

"The Persistence of Memory", Salvator Dali, 1931. One of my absolute favorite paintings. The surrealistic notions of this piece are MAGNIFYING!! I find that I get lost in all forms of art when visiting MoMA. I suggest that everyone take in some culture there!

The Dentist Visit...From Hell!!

Can I get some help here? My tooth is KILLING ME!!

Now, as some of you may know from a previous post -- Ooh! My Toof! --, I was suffering from what I thought was a random toothache. But what you didn't know was that the pain plagued me for weeks, going from a simple annoyance to a full blown affliction, complete with headaches and sleepless nights. I couldn't take it anymore. The remedies of Anbesol and Orejel were no match for the pain, which was growing greater and greater by the day.

But the pain hit its peak this past Friday night when I was out with my friend Deo. We were in the East Village waiting for Deo’s friend Allen and his lady friend. I was soooo hungry! We stopped in at the Cheesesteak Factory. I ordered a chicken cheese steak sandwich with fries and a soda. It was a chance that I was taking because up until that point, I had been chewing on the opposite side of my mouth as well as indulging mostly in soft foods: mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, sandwich wraps...even Jell-O! I was craving something that was, for this poor tooth, dangerous. I looked down at this sandwich. The hard bread was my enemy, but to hell with it – I was starving! I took a deep breath and I bit into the sandwich. Oh-My-God!!! All I could do was squeal in pain! It felt like an electric current was running through my body! I shut my eyes and took hold of the table to brace myself! The pain was incredible --*chuckling* -- but you know what – I was still hungry! So I scooped the chicken out of the sandwich, threw the bread away and went on to eat the chicken, smothered in onions and cheese and the fries. My stomach was full. I was happy.

But the ultimate pain came later on that night when I found that I couldn’t stand for more than a few minutes, while we were waiting for his friends show up to get into Libation (a hot new club on the Lower East Side that we had all been to once before. We had so much fun; we decided to try it again). We sat on a bench with the rain sprinkling down on us (thankfully Deo had his big golf umbrella to shelter us both) and I felt faint. Once his friends showed up, there was really just enough time for brief introductions. I really wasn’t up for clubbing so I just decided to hop in a cab and head home.

It was at that point that I decided the pain wasn’t worth it anymore. I was going to face my fear and get this tooth taken out!! I woke up fairly early yesterday and called the dental department at my doctor’s office building. Closed! I immediately started to panic! Oh no! I couldn’t go through another week with this pain. It was just then that I remembered there was a dentist’s office a few blocks away from my aunt's house. I walked into the office (it really wasn’t a doctor’s office per se, more like one of those store front operations that specialized in everything. Eye Care. Foot Care. Dental Care.) and was immediately greeted by a tall Amazonian woman that presented herself as something of a receptionist/office manager. But one thing was for sure, office managers do not dress like this! She was dressed head to toe in skin tight black with Christian Dior boots and a tiny diamond stud in her nose. I was immediately on the defensive. If she was the receptionist, who the hell was the dentist – Ozzie Osborne?

And what worried me a bit more was that most of the office spoke Russian. Now I’m totally fine with international relations and all, but not right before drilling a hole in my face!! After taking x-rays, the doctor told me that because of the way that the tooth was laying – the tooth being right below a nerve – I would need to have the impacted wisdom tooth removed and the gums sewn and it was going to require surgery. Surgery?! I don’t really know what I was expecting. I knew that the tooth had to come out, but just hearing that I was going to have surgery brought back bad memories (I was in the hospital for 10 days a few years ago and I remember feeling like I was losing my mind: Horrific pain and bad food?! Oh God! Not again!) I was nervous. I called my friend Deo and asked that he come and hold my hand. But other than him not wanting to get lost, considering that he walked the same route with me, which is exactly 6 straight blocks from my house just 48 hours before, I don’t know what his reasons were for politely bailing on me. So, I just decided to go it alone. I felt the need, right before sitting in the dentist’s chair, to call my mother. She didn’t pick up. Is this it? Am I going to have to leave my last Will and Testament on my mother’s cell phone answering machine? All I could muster was that I was going to have dental surgery and I’d call her later.

So, I took a deep breath and sat in the chair. I asked all the preliminary questions: Is there going to be a lot of bleeding? Is this going to hurt? Am I going to die? *nervous laughter* Then he whipped out what had to be the biggest needle I’ve ever seen, and I before I could flinch, he stuck it right in my gum! Seconds later, the pain was gone and all was right with the world! But things were just getting started. He tells me that there essentially will be no pain, just a lot of pressure. And that I may hear cracking sounds.


I sat there with my mouth open and I was completely vulnerable. Even though I didn't feel any pain I felt like if something went wrong, I would have no defense. There would be blood spewing everywhere. Can you imagine. Me: The Human Blood Disseminator! So through out this experience I found that I needed to keep my mind occupied. I hummed a tune (the nurse was there holding my hand and humming along with me! I really appreciated her doing that), I even tried to talk to the doctor, even though I'm sure he didn't understand a word I was saying. He just kept telling me that I was doing great. I just wanted to focus on something other than the huge metal tools going in and out of my mouth! At one point the nurse even came back with a new set of tools! (What in the hell was going on in there?) I heard cracking. I felt pulling. I saw intensity in the dentist's eyes. I tasted blood. I closed my eyes.

And before I knew it, I opened my eyes and was being told that I did great. He asked me if I wanted to see how everything looked and I nodded. I looked in my mouth and in place of the tooth that had been giving me so much pain, I saw a hole that was filled with blood. The pain was gone! Amazing! He suctioned the area and sutured the gums. Let the healing begin!

He gave me several prescriptions and sent me on my way. I felt good. I didn't want to be alone so I headed over to my aunt's house. She made me some chicken soup, gave me an ice-pack for my face and told me to lay down. It felt good to have someone there to take care of me. I slept like a baby. But once I woke up, all the good feelings I had earlier were gone. I was in soooo much pain and to make matters worse, I didn't get my prescriptions! I asked my aunt where I could go to get them, but when she told me where the "nearest" pharmacy was, I felt way too frail to take the walk. I took a cab home and called my older brother. I asked him to get the prescriptions for me. He came, got the prescription slips and headed off to the pharmacy. I was alone and in pain…so much pain in fact, that I was drawn to tears. Tears that seemed to flow as long and as strongly as the pain I was feeling. I was so glad to see my brother come back with everything. Vicodin, Penicillin, Ibuprofen and two Nutrament drinks. Strawberry.

I honestly don’t even remember much after drinking the Nutrament and taking the pills. I know that I slept better than I had in a long time. (Ahhh yes, Vicodin -- the drug of champions...like Wheaties!!) But I’m up now, I’m on drugs and I feel absolutely no pain! The side effect of this whole thing: The lower right side of my face is swollen. I look like I was in a fight...and they won! LOL With that said, I have to take an antibiotic for the next week, I've been restricted to a soup diet for the next couple of days and going to work is optional, but I am so glad that the tooth drama is over...
P.S. The dentist actually told me that the other third molars in my mouth may need to be removed at some point. Are you telling me I have to go through this again? **Scary Movie Music Plays**
To Be Continued...

A Day Of Remembrance

There were so many things I initially wanted to say about today. Five years ago was a day that the world that you and I know changed forever. I was going to get on my soap box and talk about the lack of concern that the Powers That Be have for the average American. I would wonder who would answer my question about the Government's lack of concern for its people. Why is it that FEMA trailers sat idle while so many of our neighbors sat in and around the Superdome with their dead and dying brethren around them, with no food or water for days while the pleas for federal assistance went unanswered? Why is it that even today in the wake of September 11th, the first responders who on that day, went into the rubble and put their lives at risk, are now fighting for their health and having the ones who praised them on that day, vilify them now for expecting more? I would ponder the question: Is the war that we vowed to fight five years ago the same war that we fight today?

These are the questions that I would have wondered about and begged an answer to today. I'm sure there are enough questions on the minds of every little boy who lost a father, a little girl who lost a mother, every husband who lost a wife, every wife who lost a husband or even one who lost a friend. There are enough questions. But today we know it will not be quick and it will not be easy, to put the questions aside and remember. Be still and remember.

Today is also a day of remembrance in joy. My tia Teresa was born 68 years ago today. I spent some time with her today -- talking, laughing and taking pictures. I asked her how she felt about having this day in history marked as the day of her birth and she said: "I was here before those men thought of the evil that is "September 11th". Today is my birthday. I rejoice in being given another year to see my family grow and my friends laugh." Well said. So I just want to wish my aunt a Happy Birthday and to let her know that I love her so much and that she is being remembered today!
(I look forward to coming over for Sunday dinner!)


Usted siempre me dice que hasta cómo es hermoso crecí sea, pero usted era siempre hermoso. Feliz Cumpleaños. Te quiero.

Is That A Meme In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

1. How tall are you barefoot?
I've answered this question previously in My Very First Meme

2. Have you ever flown first class?
No, unfortunately I haven't. But apparently my boy Organized Noise (from whom I have taken this meme) has. Bravo!

3. One of your favorite books when you were a child?
Happy Birthday, Moon

4. A good restaurant in your city?
There are quite a few restaurants that I would list as good. I agree with Organized, Cabana's at the South Street Seaport is good. The food is good, but the Mojitos are off the hook!! Negril's (pricey but good) for Jamaican. Baluchi's for Indian (there are restaurants all over the city, but the one on West 4th and 6th Avenue is one of the better ones. Chicken Tikka Masala and Chicken Keema - Yum!) and Tao, an Asian Fusion restaurant that has become famous not only for the food (the lobster wontons with shitake garlic sauce is delish!), but its definitely a see and be seen spot!

5. What is your favorite small appliance?
The compact George Forman Grill.

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
My best friend Teesha

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?
"This Christmas" by Dru Hill and "The Christmas Song" by The Temptations

8. What was the first music that you ever bought?
"Cooleyhighharmony" by Boyz II Men (on cassette)

9. Do you do push-ups?
Nope

10. What was one of your favorite games as a child?
Skellie, Truth Or Dare, Hide & Go Seek, Freeze tag, Red Light, Green Light, Uno (that was the cafeteria staple for me and that’s only because I didn't know -- and still don't know -- how to play Spades. Call the Cavalry...this girl needs to get her ghetto card revoked!) and many, many more.

11.What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments?
My lasagna. I smile when I ask my younger brother if he wants a plate and he always says yes. That one word is compliment enough for me.

12. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
An architect. I loved to draw. I used to draw all the time. I was good at it, but I wasn't (and still not) the best at the numbers game. Being horrible at math kinda killed that dream fairly quickly.

13. Your favorite Soup of the Day?
Minestrone

14. What in your life are you most grateful for?
My family. They annoy me sometimes, but I know that I love them more than I could ever ever express!

15. Have you ever met someone famous?
Yes. Heavy D (A sweet teddy bear of a guy) Salt n' Pepa, Treach, Vinnie, Brian McKinight (who smelled sooooo good! He gave me a hug! OMG!!!), Melba Moore (before her welfare days)

16. Date Of Birth?
Friday, May 18, 19...uh...yea...May 18th. hehe

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. I'm hungry.
2. Wondering about the reactions of the city in the next couple days.
3. I'm hungry.

18. Three people you're thinking about right now:
1. My mom -- it's been a couple of days since I've spoken to her. I have to call her.
2. "A.D."
3. My best friend Teesha, just wondering how my girl is doing.

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
Water, Vitamin Water (even though Endurance Peach is my favorite, I drink almost all flavors), Orange Juice, Scwhepps Ginger Ale, Snapple Green Apple White Tea

20. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Channel 7 Eyewitness News This Morning

21. Current hair?
A very messy ponytail/bun combo thingy

22. Current worry?
I have 3 trials that I'm preparing for at work. I'm hoping that things go smoothly with all of them.

23. Current hate?
That the world we knew before two days from now, five years ago is gone forever never to return.

24. Favorite place to be?
Sitting on a bench in any park in New York engrossed in a good book.

25. Least favorite place to be?
As of late -- The office.

26. Do you consider yourself well organized?
I try to be as organized as possible, but there are days when I slip up (Exhibit A: My room right now!)

27. Do you believe in the afterlife?
Yes

28. Where do you think you will be in 10 Yrs?
I have no idea, but I hope that I'd be married with two children, having a successful career and a whole lot closer to my life's dream than I am now.

29. Do you burn or tan?
I tan pretty well.

30. Who was the last blogger you hung out with?
I haven't had the opportunity to meet any of my fellow bloggers as of yet, but I look forward to connecting with you all.

31. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future?
Optimistic

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
Last Saturday night while hanging out with friends. Ketel One and Cranberry (my drink of choice now. Thanks Justine!)

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is on the radio.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid?
Being alone in the dark has always made me a little nervous.

35. What’s in your pockets right now?
The cleaning cloth for my glasses and 17 cents in change from the cashews and vitamin water I bought earlier today.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
I always find that I laugh whenever I read his blog.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
Raggedy Ann and Andy. My mom bought me a Raggedy Ann doll and I remember seeing the sheets and being sooooo excited about it!

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
The worst experience of physical pain I've ever had would be after having surgery for a kidney infection. I was in the hospital for 10 days. All I'll say is that in that experience Tylenol with codeine became a God-send.

39. Favorite song?
Currently - "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake (that beat is HOT!) and "Good Mourning" by India.Arie (speaks to recent experiences for me)

40. How many TVs do you own?
One

41. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them?
I've told quite a few people in the last year that I love them.

42. Last person that made you blush?
Deo

43. Best Compliment received?
"You are beautiful."

44. What song is in your head?
"SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake. The beat just makes you wanna get up and dance!

45. What is your favorite book?
I wouldn't say that it was necessarily my favorite book, but it was definitely one that I enjoyed reading: "The Broke Diaries" by Angela Nissel

46. Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex?
Baked Macaroni. He liked it, which made me happy.

47. What songs do you want played at your wedding?
"Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion (I'm not normally a Celine fan, but I think this is the "perfect" wedding as it speaks to love in a beautiful way). "At Last" by Etta James and a few others. But I would say those would be the top two.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" by Boyz II Men. I remember when I first heard this song and saw the video I immediately thought of 1975's "Cooley High", on which the video was loosely based. I thought how sad and dramatic and triumphant the ending was: Y'all remember: After being at his friend's gravesite, Preach runs. He runs out of the cemetery...crying, smiling and ultimately going on to make a difference. And that what I want people to recall when they think of me. There were tears. There was sadness. There was drama, but there was ultimately triumph in this life of mine. Man, that movie was definitely something to see. The Black "American Graffiti." LOL Oh! And don't forget to pour out some liquor for the brothers and sisters that aren't here -- namely me!

49. What were you doing at 12 midnight last night?
I was fast asleep. Zzzzzzzz's!

50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life?
Long lasting love and the respect of my family and friends.

Looking In The Mirror

I know that it's something that some people may find strange (and I'm sure you'll comment if you do), but I've done it for years. I sometimes sit in front of a magnifying mirror and stare. Stare at myself. Not necessarily to examine my pores or wonder where that huge zit on my temple came from (and there really is one there!) I stare at my face and look for the "beautiful" in me.

People have always talked about my eyes. I've heard that I have pretty eyes. They're brown. I've always said they were eyes that looks at the world differently from everyone else. They see there that is injustice and hunger in the world and wants that to change. Prays for that to change. I love my caring (and bespectacled) eyes. I've heard that I have a cute nose. Not too wide or bulbous. Yes, a cute nose. But its a nose that takes the time to smell the flowers that are planted in the Green Street spaces throughout my neighborhood. MY Brooklyn. I've been told that I have lovely lips. Full and sensuous. My lips are pleasing to me, even with the little scar that is left on my upper lip -- the cupid's bow -- from having an ice ball thrown at me in the school yard. I was in the 3rd grade.

Just yesterday I was told that I have a lovely smile. My smile is somewhat crooked. I used to hide my smile (and still do sometimes), but I do take the time to do that though. To smile.
I stare at my skin. I've been told that my coloring is something of a caramel brown. I look at all the shades of caramel brown that I am now with having some parts being more exposed to the summer sun than others. I am thankful that I have this skin. I am thankful to be in this caramel colored skin.

It's a strange thing that I do, but I've been doing it for years. I sit in front of a magnifying mirror and stare at myself. Stare at the reflection with the bespectacled and caring eyes and smile at her with that somewhat crooked smile and kiss her with the lips that I find pleasing, even with the little scar. I look at her and realize that the "beautiful" in her is so much more than what's on the outside. It took me a long time to get to even this point. (I was called every name in the book as a child. The thoughts of those times bother me sometimes). I know I still have a very long way to go. But today...at this very moment, I love the reflection staring back at me. She is a woman that has a caring heart, a free spirit, and a hearty laugh. She is sometimes shy, she is sometimes mischievous, she is sometimes happy and sometimes sad. But the thing that I have come to realize is that this reflection with all her perceived imperfections are all beautiful. She is me. All of her.

This is the reflection that stares back when I take to Looking In The Mirror. She's beautiful to me!

My Very First Meme

Taken from Caterpillar's blog. I thank you. And so, here goes:

1. How old do you wish you were?
I was recently telling a friend that I am more willing to embrace the age that I am today than I've been willing to embrace any age I've been.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was walking out of my doctor's office when I saw the towers being talked about on the news: "It has been reported that what is believed to be a small Cessna plane has hit one of the World Trade Center towers.” I honestly didn’t think much of it other than; it’s an issue that should be resolved soon and quickly. No problem! I then remember walking down the avenue, looking up and seeing smoke…even from such a distance the magnitude of what was going on didn’t hit me until I got home. I turned on the TV and it was on every channel. And as it turns out, it wasn’t a Cessna plane. It was a simultaneous attack on the nation: New York City, The Pentagon and the third plane’s target: The White House. I remember watching the towers as they fell and in that moment knowing that somehow neither life in “the land of the free” or I would be the same.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
I would probably resort to the actions of a 5 year-old. I would get upset – maybe even shake or kick the machine – and subsequently warn everyone to stay away from the Thieving Vending Machine.

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
I do consider myself kind, although there are times when I feel I should express that side of myself a bit more.

5. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
My parents are from Central America and I’ve always felt a bit saddened by the fact that although I do speak some Spanish, it doesn’t come as naturally to me as I wish it did. I love listening to people of color speak the language of their homeland. Our color is NOT all that we are. We are Spanish, we are French, and we are Patwa. But for me, Spanish is a language that although not breathed from my lips too often, is in my heart all the time! Viva! Panama!

6. Do you know your neighbors?
Yes. I’ve lived in my apartment since I’m four years old and I believe that everyone in my building is familiar with me. I was just talking to a neighbor (Mrs. K, a genteel Guyanese woman of 83) who says that she remembers the day that my younger brother was born. My brother is just shy of 25 years old. I’ve seen the neighborhood change, but there are still some of the same good people around.

7. Would you move for the person you loved?
Moving to another city or state for someone I love would take a whole lot of consideration, but if there is love that is worth having, you will be willing to go anywhere for it.

8. Favorite place to go on a weekend?
I love to walk. So in the summertime on an ordinary Saturday, one can find me walking through Prospect or Central Park, or with my face in the latest novel in the bookstore or lounging with friends. I missed most of First Saturdays at the Brooklyn Museum of Art this year (for those of you who don’t know, click here and learn more but that’s also some thing that I like to experience. During the colder months, I’m usually indoors. Movies, dinners with friends or even curled up at home – as long as it’s warm!

9. Showers or bath?
I generally like taking nice hot showers, but there’s nothing more calming than stepping into a warm bath. The bonus: Bubbles!

10. Do you trust people easily?
I’ve never been one to trust the world very easily, but there are a small circle of people that have my love and my trust, which is hard to come by, I’ve been told.

11. Do you keep a handwritten journal?
It’s so funny that this is question 11, because I’ve actually been journaling since that age. I’ve always liked to keep a piece of paper and a pencil handy for any random thoughts and/or experiences that I may come across. Going back in time, so to speak, is always interesting. I enjoy reading about the girl who worried about a particular boy not liking her or how nervous she felt right before taking that critical exam in school. Journals have always been the literal record of my life, although I haven’t journaled for at least two years. And so much has happened. But my latest journal just sits there, in my nightstand, collecting dust. So I am thankful that I have discovered a place to write. Another blog may come along (one where I can express things that may not be suitable for this particular blog) and I’ll be thankful for that as well. My writing may not be perfect, but its mine and I love that.

12. Where would you rather be right now?
In a hammock on a beach with a margarita and some good company!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was multi-tasking. I was catching up on some of the musings of my fellow bloggers and Tivo’ing.

14. What color shirt are you wearing?
Army green.

15. Most recent movie you watched?
“Something’s Gotta Give” with Diane Keaton and Jaaaaaaaaccckk Nicholson. It just goes to show you, love is possible at any age.

16. Name five things you have on you at all times?
Caterpillar’s answer reflects mine exactly: Cell phone, chapstick, debit card, bus/train card, camera, and keys (yes, it's six, I know).

17. What color are your bed sheets?
Sea foam green/navy blue

18. How much cash do you have on you right now?
$63 plus change.

19. What did you have for dinner last night?
Grilled chicken sandwich and orange juice.

20. How tall are you barefoot?
5'6.5". Even though there was always the wish to be a bit taller ("dream height" 5'8")

21. What time did you wake up today?
8:02a.m. = Late for work! :-o

School Days

I was on my way into work this morning when I saw a woman crossing the street with her little girl. The little girl was dressed in her school uniform (blue plaid skirt and vest with a crisp white shirt) with her pink Barbie book bag on her back holding her mother’s hand and just plodding along. She saw me looking at her, gave me a bit of a sheepish look and yawned. I looked at her and thought, “She doesn’t look excited or happy at all.” I’m sure for the past week her mother had been whining her off of late nights (I remember going to bed no later than 9 o’clock on a school night. The weekends? Now that’s an entirely different thing!) and may have even been giving her “practice homework” so that doing homework wouldn’t be too overwhelming for her once school starts.

I remember being so excited in the days leading up to the first day of school. Along with wondering who from last year was going to be in my class this year, I loved the idea of school shopping (for new supplies and new clothes!) It was the one time of year when your mother would (for the most part) give in to your choices, instead of hearing the proverbial mother mantra: “When we get the store…don’t ask me for anything!!” There was the excitement in the opportunity to make friends and to open one’s mind to learning. Educating yourself is the best way I believe to educate your children. It’s the opportunity to indelibly place your mark on the world. How wonderful it is to give your child the gift of education. Their eyes will not only twinkle when they have that moment when they’ve learned something new. The twinkle will continue when they give that something that they know to someone else.


So, although she may have looked worn and tired in those early morning hours, I know most certainly that the little girl with the pink Barbie book bag left school today with a twinkle in her eye that her mother will be most pleased to see.

Brooklyn In Blue

Blue is the color of the swaying oceans
Blue is the color of my tears
Blue is the color of my emotion
Blue is the color of my fears
I look out my window covered in raindrops and dew
And find love trandscends all space when Blue Brooklyn is the view.

LHB-2006

The Last Rose of Summer

'Tis the last rose of summer,
Left blooming alone;
All her lovely companions
Are faded and gone.

-- Thomas Moore, 1830