I Spy...

The world changing around me...and I'm so ready for change! It's been quite a while since I've had time to ponder my life, much less time to write down all it's happenings. But I'm here to let those of you who are reading this and wondering about me, that I'm still here! :)

The Shape Up

In the African American community, barbershops and beauty salons have traditionally been the place to solicit opinions on everything from religion to pop culture to politics (and all things in between). And this barbershop in "New Jerusalem" was no different. The discussions were loud and the laughter was louder.

The discussion that dominated this landscape? The election of Barack Hussein Obama II, the junior U.S. senator from Illinois, as President of the United States. The joy of this latest happening resonated far beyond this barbershop and is colorblind. There are those of us who truly believe that he will hold firm to his mantra to be an agent of change. We are desperate to distance ourselves from the disaster (yes, I said it -- and... what?! Y'all know I ain't lying) that was the Bush administration. (He will be forever known as the "worst president in U.S. history" y'all! One word: DAMN!)

No longer should we "take a little off the top" in regards to our determination to be a force to reckon with on the world stage. As he exclaimed in his victory speech: "Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow." So, we stand with great anticipation that in the next four years we will be completely reshaped as a nation. I'm excited...aren't you? :o)

Newark, New Jersey

Me -- The Cover Girl

I've never thought of myself as much of a girly girl -- I would say that when I was younger, dressing up for me was only suitable for certain occasions, namely weddings, funerals and interviews. And honestly, I'm still not into wearing the face paint: concealer, mascara (which ALWAYS seem to irritate my eyes!), blush and all that other stuff. A little liner and gloss and I'm good to go!

But I'm discovering that MY brand of beauty is in my smile (it's not perfect, but it's mine), my humor (I love a good joke and I LOVE to laugh) and my sincerity (I try my very best to be good to those who are good to me). So I don't need all that artificial gunk on my face to be beautiful as I know my beauty shines from the inside out! :o)

Tentative

Day Four of the Migraine from Hell. I'm still having a hard time staying up for too long (there's just something about sitting in the upright position that upsets the "monster". It's just not trying to hear all that. It's trying to keep me down y'all! But it's not the boss of me!), but dammit, I'm up! If I look a little out of it here, it's because I am. It's the drugs man... Groooovvvyyyy! Haha! I'm determined to kick the Migraine Monster's ass!! Beat it into submission!!! It's a fight that all migraine sufferers face. So, whose with me!!??

Can also be seen On Black

Today Was A Good Day!

Today was indeed a good day, filled with fanfare, friends and music. First there was the Mets game at Shea Stadium. A friend had an extra ticket to the game and invited me to join him. It had been at least ten years since I last saw the Mets play, and I figured now was as good a time as any to watch them do their thing again. And like ten years before, they were up by four and then sank...rapidly. Ten years ago the Cardinals took it and this time they lost to the Pittsburgh Pirates 7 to 5. Even though they lost, I had a great time sharing what little knowledge I have on baseball with my friends. I also loved the smell of popcorn, cotton candy and hotdogs -- classic game time food! "Get your cotton candy here!"



But the highlight of my day came in the form of Jill Scott, who gave a free concert at Brooklyn's Wingate Park! I got there around 4PM and although the line looked rather short from where I stood, there was actually a snake tail forming on the other side of the park that went around the block! People came out in droves to be serenaded by this Philly based powerhouse!! She was punctual, with the show starting at just a couple of minutes after 8PM. And my fellow Brooklynites and I immediately felt at home with her! "What's Up Brooklyn!!" She sang, she told jokes and ultimately gave of herself tonight! In effect giving us "The Real Thing"!! Haha! This was her last stop in the U.S. before embarking on her World Tour. Her next stop -- Africa! She lifted us all up by tearing the house down!!! My voice is still raspy from all the screaming and singing that I did! I would say that I'm still high off of the night's feel good fumes! Thank you Jill!

"Love Is Friendship Set On Fire"

-- Jeremy Taylor

A couple engaged in a passionate kiss on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Brooklyn, New York

Remembering Malcolm

"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."
"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom." -- Malcolm X

Inspired by this photograph! :o)

When All Else Fails...

Take a less than flattering photo in a J. Crew dressing room and hope for the best! :o)

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

After weeks of study and the occasional bout of frustration and self doubt, I had the opportunity to showcase my work at an actual exhibit -- my very first photo exhibition!

I was honestly quite nervous about how others would receive my work, which sounds strange I know; considering that I have been displaying my work on Flickr for almost two years now. But I have to admit that it felt good watching the crowds gravitate towards the matted photos (that I strategically placed in the center of the main wall) knowing they were mine.

I got a big kick out of explaining my motivation and technique. But the highlight of the day came as I sold one print and negotiated the sale of other! Yes, I know it's not the Louvre, or the Met, but it was a very proud moment for little old me! Yay! :o)

Register...and Vote!

For my photo! Thanks friends!

Thirteen Things

1. I love brussel sprouts, cauliflower and all those vegetables that kids usually say they hate. I like to eat them separately, as soon as one mixes them together, I will not eat it! In other words, I HATE mixed vegetables.

2. I love love love to dance! It took me the longest time to become comfortable with dancing at clubs, parties, etc., but now you can't stop me! :o)

3. I am very impatient. A bad trait...I know.

4. I sing in the shower...wayyyyy off key, but its all good!

5. I cry...at the state of the world today. Is there really a reason why the world is so screwed up? I mean, really... Wars? What for? Hunger? Not necessary. Homelessness...c'mon!!! Sometimes I wanna yell at the top of my lungs in the middle of a busy Manhattan street: "WAKE UP!!!!" (remember "Dap" from School Daze?")

6. My favorite color is brown. Its subtle and earthy.

7. I often wish I were taller. "Dream height" = 5'8". Real height = 5'6.5" That half inch is very important to me! Haha!

8. I was raised in a single parent home. It was me, my two brothers and the woman who is the epitome of all I hope to be. And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way...love ya mom!

9. I've kept a journal since I was 11 years old and to this day, I still carry a pen and little notebook everywhere I go. Writing is something that relaxes me. To hell with being grammatically correct!

10. I check the expiration date on everything! People who know me laugh, but I think its important, don't you?

11. I love granny smith apples!

12. Its hard for me to watch scary movies! Yea, I know its all fake blood and special effects, but dammit I just can't do it!

13. On a good day, this...is my best side!

What are 13 things we should know about you? :o) Can also be seen On Black

Me -- The Visionary

I don't fashion myself as the next Ansel Adams, Garry Winogrand or Amy Arbus, but I do feel a kinship with this fabulous contraption. I find that there is always something wonderful that people look for within themselves: beauty, fearlessness, intellect...the list could go on forever. But, I have to say, those are a few things that I never really saw in myself despite the praise and accolades of the world around me.

My photographs may not be accurate depictions of how I really am: shy (yet ballsy at times) and somewhat awkward (the story of my life revolves around that word! Haha), but with my camera I see all the cool and wonderful things about myself that I never really took notice of before:

I see beauty
I see confidence
I see fearlessness

My camera has become my voice and with it, I feel like I can say (almost) anything! :o)

Cornered

The frenzy of life was fast approaching howling its demands
I found myself running breathlessly...
From one room of the universe to the other
Not knowing where I stand.

I got to the door of the room called happiness and felt the pulsating beat of my heart...
It was then that I realized I had nowhere to run and that at some point -- all things fall apart

I found myself -- cornered

All Rights Reserved

-- © LHB 2007

Postcards From...

The train was coming

It was roaring down the track

I felt the ground beneath me moving

So I decided to step back

During the buzz of what was a busy New York City day I watched as commuters rushed to and fro, all ablur, making their way

Some to work, some to school, while others pondered their daily planning

It was at that moment in looking to my left I see a young girl standing

I looked into her lonely eyes as she stood frozen on the landing

Almost as if she couldn't bare with what her life was demanding

As the train got closer I saw her look at me

Silently asking for help from the insanity

Me? You want my help...what could I do?

There are times when I can't even help myself, so how will I help you?

There are feelings of stress and helplessness and moments when I am wound so tight

I looked away for just a moment and back again...And she had vanished out of sight!

The train had come and people began to get off and others climbed aboard

My heart sank but I felt the need the scream her name...a name I had never heard

"Where are you? Answer me! Please let me know you're ok...I need to know thatyou are brave and didn't end it all this way!!"

But I heard nothing but the sound my own beating heart

All was quiet and I looked around desperately for her

There was no sign...its like she never existed...she was gone forever

I would never forget her and I would always ask myself what could I have done

To lessen her sorrows and ease her pain. And was I the only one?

To see her hurting and offer nothing more than a hopeful glance

If I had done more she may have had a chance.

All Rights Reserved
-- ©LHB 2007

Summer's Last Breath/Dark September

I walked into the room of summer, with its creaking hinges and peeling paint...Looking into her face, long gone are the bright eyes and the shining temperment. Instead I found the pale and wanton shade of September with its disappearing leaves and escalating chill.

Labored is the breathing of hot and stagnent air. Fans and open windows mere suggestions of what could be A solemn cloud of sadness hangs our us at the thought of an emminent end
I remember the happy days of tank tops and open hydrants When I felt free, open and blessed just to be in her presence. She was powerful and engaging But here she lays now -- a shadow of her former self -- slowly wasting away and I look intently at her Wanting it all to make for the sense

Is there a whisper of a phrase or a final word: "I love you...I miss you...I want you back..."
And then... nothing

She ceases to breathe Her heart ceases to beat...She flatlines and the room becomes quiet Her lips turn cold from the times I remember Its called summer's last breath. What I see now and what there is to look forward to Dark September

All Rights Reserved
-- © LHB 2007

Morning Tea

On Saturday mornings I get up, wipe the sleep from my eyes and take a dazed look around my room..Thinking, planning, knowing that there is much to do -- laundry, dishes, jaunts to the bank and cleaners are amongst the errands to be run...But I decide before facing the world to take some time alone and stare out into the sun.
I've come a long way from that small person of yesterday who was shy, lonely and full of uncertainty. My mind rambled with questions like: "Will I do well in life...will there be happiness and joy for me?" But I now know that with the night's rest and every new day, our spirits are given the chance to be cleansed and made anew. The answer given to the question of wellness -- real: "How are you?"
I am well...I am blessed...I am alive...I am free I give thanks and celebrate my life today by having a cup of morning tea.
--LHB 2007

*Happy Saturday Morning everyone!* :o)

Me -- On A Bad Day

I'm always left to wonder why is it that I was saddled with this particular affliction...migraines. I mean damn -- growing up an asthmatic was bad enough (laughing too hard or exerting myself too much would always end in a fit of wheezing and coughing)!! As soon as I feel I've conquered one ailment (its been centuries since my last attack, but my inhaler is always around...just in case!), here comes another one to take its place!

I felt like sh*t all day today. I stayed in bed all day curled up in a fetal position and even shed a few tears at one point as the pain was completely unbearable! Aspirin, ice cold water, my trusty ice-pack and even ice-cream were all part of my arsenal. I'm actually surprised that I'm able to sit up and share this with you right now as the migraine monster is still tap dancing on my brain stem! But...such is life. I lived through asthma and I will bop and weave and kick the migraine monster's ass to fight another day! :o)

A Father Is...

A Father Is...
A father is a source of strength,
A teacher and a guide,
The one his family looks up to
With loving trust and pride...
A father is a helper
With a willing hand to lend,
A partner, an adviser,
And the finest kind of friend.

Happy Birthday Dad!

--LHB 2007

The Nightly Ritual - Unwrapped

Combing it up

Wrapping it around

Pattin' my head

And tying it down

This is the nightly ritual...

Taking good care to secure it at night

So that in the waking hours my shit will be tight

The glories that are my tresses are found in the nightly ritual...

It is part of us -- the female identity. We see it as beauty, whether it be: a perm, a wig, a weave, dreadlocks or free flowing naps. We embrace it as we embrace ourselves showing proper love by swaddling it in silk or cotton and even stocking caps -- by performing the nightly ritual...

India.Arie empowered us when she shouted "I Am Not My Hair"...Most of us know that there is more to it than our tracks and bobby pins or glue But admit it y'all, you know with the hours we spend getting washed, coiffed and sitting under dryers, the ultimate reward -- is that bangin' 'do!

So it can be disconcerting and down right cruel...When I find that the nature of gravity has broken the rules. Waking up to find my scarf is either on the pillow next to me, in between my sheets or even under my bed…It's in my night’s tossing and turning that it found its way somewhere else besides my head…

The beauty I fawned over in the stylist chair is no longer on tap...As I discovered that it was sometime during my rest I had become completely unwrapped.

-- LHB 2007

Wearing A Mask

I want to shield the world from my face
I want to hide the scars of pain
-- gashes of deep shame
-- scabs of healing sadness
-- and the slashes of disgrace.
Bravery comes in knowing that the pain will NOT be everlasting.
Although there are times when a smile can bring joy
Do you ever wonder what one’s smile may be masking?

-- LHB 2007

Another Year Older

A birthday is just another day, young of mind, yet youthful looks go away.
Another year older, the world seems a bit colder.
Yet my heart still burns, and for love it forever yearns.
Another year older, I grow even bolder.

Life is for us to learn from, as calculated as a mathematical sum.
Another year older, hurting blazes now just smolder.
Letting go of past rage and pain, living life and feeling sane.
Another year older, a tear on your shoulder.

Life has not been so bad, my tear is of joy not because I'm sad.
Another day older, more pages added to my folder.
I'm glad of whom I am today, I would not have myself any other way.

There Is But One May A Year In The Year

There is but one May in the year,

And sometimes May is wet and cold;

There is but one May in the year

Before the year grows old.

Yet though it be the chilliest May,

With least of sun and most of showers,

Its wind and dew, its night and day,

Bring up the flowers.

-- Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

Always To April

In the frigid eyes of March I stood alone (in a vacant thought) when, all of a sudden

Footsteps-from a long ago summer filled the empty air

And perhaps April is just a dream and maybe May will come too soon but when the sun sets

I look to April

Always to April

-- LHB 2007

Here Comes The Sun...

The March wind roars
Like a lion in the sky,
And makes us shiver
As he passes by.

When winds are soft,
And the days are warm and clear,
Just like a gentle lamb,
Then spring is here.
LHB-2007

Missing You Today

It has been years that we lost you
But it seems like a lot longer today.
I miss your sweet, shy smile and
Your kind, loving ways.

I miss the quietness of your presence
And the love you've always shared.
I miss your encouragements and faith.
Your belief in me because you shared.

I thank GOD for giving me such a
Sweet and wonderful grandmother.
I knew through the years
There could have been no other.

I listen for your footsteps in the hall
And look up to see you in the room
I want to hear your greeting and
I smell the fragrance of your perfume.

LHB-2007